The age old debate if girls and guys can be “just friends” is always one that I seem to find hilarious, in the sense that guys are always made out to seem like they have an ulterior motive. Like “Guys become friends with girls so they can end up sleeping with them” or “Guys become friends with girls so they can date their hot friends”. This is assuming that every male that becomes friends with a female is an uncultured swine, who just wants nothing but to get his dick wet. Now, I am not speaking for all guys when I say this but that’s usually not the plan for guys when they become friends with girls. There is this thing called compatibility that people do have, in a non sexual way. How do I know this? Because three of my best friends are males!
When I was younger I always looked at the one girl with a bunch of guys and was like “That girl has to be fucking all of them, there is no way that they can keep it in their pants. She’s such a slut.” This is the common thought that every girl or guy has in their mind when they see one attractive girl hanging out with a group of guys. Of course because the girl apparently can’t keep her legs closed, even if she isn’t sleeping with them she’s still a slut. Now, that’s an unfair judgement. That girl could be a virgin, and people are still going to call her a hoe because she hangs out with all guys. Little did I know when I grew up, I was going to be that girl. I would be the girl that hung out with a large group of guys.
You could say that I have a guy mentality, in the fact my brain processes things very similar to a guy like attraction…I just have a toned down, not so disgusting version. If male attraction was to be compared to a steak, I would have filet minion. A fancier, classier steak. I have always been one for first impressions. The ways guys act, the way they dress, even their overall appearance is included when I look to see if I am attracted to them. In the first twenty seconds of meeting someone, and I don’t find them attractive, there is no helping you. I am sorry if that makes me vain, but if you’re hitting on me, and the answer is “no” to the “can i sleep with this person?” question I ask myself, there is no hope for you. You could be the sweetest guy on the face of this planet, and I still wouldn’t give you a shot. I have to physically see myself with you before anything can happen, just like guys. When guys see girls and they think that they are at least cute, they’ll give you a shot. If you look like Shrek’s wife Fiona, you can bet your titties that he’s not gonna look your direction. Also, guys ability to have sex with no emotion. Guys can sleep with three or four girls at a time with ABSOLUTELY no feelings, nothing complicated, just straight sex. I, myself, applaud the male population for being able to do that and not be judged or called a whore. Not that I think that sleeping with multiple women is acceptable, but guys can just go get their jollies off with a person and not even like them, or know their name for that matter. As a female, the role is much different. We are suppose to be classy, loyal, spreading their legs for JUST a boyfriend. There is no sleeping with multiple men, or just wanting to hook up with a guy to hook up with them. NOT THAT THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN! BUT there are expectations that girls are expected to uphold. Prime example, it is expected of a girl to put out, right? A guy takes you out, you had a great time, things are going well. You go back to his house, things heat up, you do the deed, and then you go home. Congrats, you’re a slut now. You put no fight to stop him from what he wanted going into this date. Now lets say that you and this guy went on five dates before he invited you in, same thing happens. Things heat up, you do the deed…now he just had to dump five dates into you for you to put out. Now he’s trying too hard. FORGET IT if you want to save yourself for marriage. Now you’re a prude. Not all men are like this, but this is the majority that I have met. But with that being said, as a girl you can never win. As a female having a male mentality is hard, and you really realize how much of a double standard it is. You are always going to be that girl who “fuck and chucks” guys. Men hate the feeling of being defeated by women, especially at their own game. You have to keep a tough skin, it is something that being friends with mostly guys my entire life has taught me. They pick on me, tease me, throw things at me, call me names, curse, whine, yell, and I deal with it all. It helps you deal with a boy when you’re in a relationship with them.
The BIGGEST thing on a boys mind is sex. So when people say that guys and girls can not be friends because of it, that makes sense to me, a slight bit. Its like Eve and the forbidden fruit, it was just so tempting that she had to bite into it. Same things with boys, if they have an attractive girl friend, what is stopping them from tasting the fruit? Girls, have you ever had a guy friend who you have known forever and you could never date them? This is how sexual tension doesn’t ruin a friendship…FRIEND ZONE. I have three best guy friends, all different in their own way, who have been seated in my friend zone. No sexual tension sits in the friend zone, otherwise you wouldn’t be there. I have worked very hard to make my friendships with them to be this way, not to say that it was just founded this way. If youre a pretty girl, boys will always think there is sexual tension. It is your job as female to crack the whip, set them where they need to be and move on. All but one of my guy friends have had crushes on me. all at the same time. It wasn’t evident at first, they just started treating me differently, like they would treat their girlfriends (boyfriends in a certain case), but silly me I take that as kindness and them being friendly. No. Not at all. That was Love knocking on my friend zone door trying to let them out, and I was avoiding them like a Jehovah on my porch. Now, I did try with one of them, my gay best friend. Now you’re probably reading this rolling your eyes saying “Why in the world would you ever try to let the gay best friend out of the friend zone?” I would be doing the same thing too. But in reality I could see myself with him,, being in a relationship with my best friend sounded like the best idea that I could ever have. Gay is gay, you cant help who you are, or who you are attracted to, but he came to me and wanted to try it so i figured why not. Now, there has been special cases where changing batting teams has happened, but not here. We both realized that by us trying to be a couple, we were ruining the one reason that I wanted to be with him, our friendship. So from now on, friend zone friends stay firmly planted in the friend z one, you don’t shit where you eat. Sexual tension is nothing to not be friends with the opposite sex for, you just have to know how to correct it. If you did sleep with your best guy friends, that would be so awkward, I would think. I do not want to see my friends naked, I don’t want them to touch me the way I would want Zac Efron to touch me, I know that.. Then you do it, then what? You just go along with your merry way being friends and fully knowing you just saw them naked? That’s when things get weird, that is when you ruin friendships.